I could feel the tension. I knew he had drawn his bow, and it was aimed right at me. I was the target. Even the slightest tinge of my guilty conscience made the creaks and groans of the bow string howl in my ears as it strained for release. I looked for places to hide, but wherever I went, he was there. I first tried to find refuge in morality. I thought, if I could be upright from here on out, then that should atone for my sin. There were two problems with this. First, I was unable to live a righteous life. What I had imagined was the standard, fell far short of what was required, and I wasn’t even able to live up to my own demands. This continued failure only multiplied my guilt. Second, I realized, even if I could live a perfect life from this point on, it would never be able to wash away my past sins.
I had no idea what to do, so I tried to ride out the storm thinking that time could heal all wounds. The problem is, no amount of time can atone for ungodliness. Being further away from my guilt did nothing to cleanse me of my transgressions. There is no statute of limitations on sin, and his justice required the arrows be launched, so the wrath of God hung over me like a dark cloud.
Then I reread the passage, “If a man does not repent, God will whet his sword; he has bent and readied his bow;” (Psalm 7:12). All of sudden, the very passage that caused my heart to fear, illuminated my soul with hope. “If a man does not repent.” There was a way out. In my blindness, I had never noticed it before. God’s word was telling me that if a man turns to him, his bow would be at rest. In a flash of light, the Holy Spirit, who had awakened my soul to its peril, illuminated the truth of the Gospel I had heard over the years but never before understood.
People had told me that the Lord Jesus had gone to the cross as an innocent man to bear the sins of those who would put their faith in Him. I knew he had willingly gone to his death on the cross, but it wasn’t until now that I realized, that the cup that he dreaded to drink was the wrath of this Father. Isaiah 53:10 resounded in my soul, “Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt.” The wrath that I deserved had been pour out upon Jesus. I knew this because my heart was now alive with faith. His Spirit had given me new life.
It all made sense. The picture was clear. The arrows that had been trained upon me, the Father took, aimed them at His Son and let them fly. The bow of God’s wrath is now resting quietly, and there are no remaining arrows to be pointed my direction. He had forgiven my sins. It was his mercy that had been pursuing me all along. Instead of running from him, all I needed to do was turn around and run to him, because the minute I did, I saw him running to embrace me like the father of the prodigal son.